Well honestly the trip was okay. I am ready to go back home...I got in the ocean, I saw the ocean and now the person taking me is getting on my nerves to the extent the trip is no longer enjoyable. I mean first he went off with his friends and I was left a little bit in the dumps and then he comes back to the hotel with like a 6 pack which just really made me mad. I mean first of all, I grew up where neither parents drank, I never knew what that stuff smelled like until this year. I was raised and even school pushed how bad beer is and so on and I want nothing to do with it. I don't care if he has one but he was on his 3rd and we was tipsy and he kept asking me for stupid stuff and I am like NO! He kept asking over and over and he goes for another beer and I am like Oh MY GOD...are you serious? We ended up fighting I am like ... I am 18 I dont want to be around this, and you reek badly of beer and you are as annoying as ____(insert a celeb you are sick of)____ and I stated how pathetic it was of him to ask me on this trip and not be able to go 2 days without stupid beer and just have fun with me on this trip without needing stupid beer. He got mad and was like well your on your computer and I am drinking I am like I am on my computer ignoring you because you are drinking get the clue...then he is like welll you like make up and I like beer and I am like....I hardly wear make up anymore and your just using that as an excuse atleast make up don't intoxicate my mind and make me do stupid things...He was like whatever at that point and he just walked outside and I finished up on facebook and he came back in took the beer and dumped it and apologized then told me that my opinion matters to him and I am like...drinking, drunk and liking beer might impress other girls but me I find getting drunk and drinking a lot to be disgusting and gross and I don't want a man who drinks. Which of course makes me sad and I remember how perfect Dan and I were for each other then I start to cry.
That is one thing about me, I can be easily pressured to do something silly and harmless like sing infront of a crowd or eat 5 hot peppers at once but when it comes to something like being pressured into drinking, s3x and so on...basic right and wrong things, I am very strong on when I say no. I think my bad feeling though was telling me NOT to come on this trip, worried about outcome of rest of the days but I will not lie, I cannot wait to get back home to the comfort of life I knew with Star and my own bed and my stuff. I guess I really didn't need this trip as much as I thought...I think I finally know what will make me happy but the thing that will make me happy, I cannot have. All I know is when I get home, I need to break some hearts and cause some fights by ending something that was never real to begin with and just take it day by day, if I cannot have what I want, I will spend my time learning Algebra and Chem so I can be a nurse. When my soulmate comes, he will respect who I am, my beliefs and no push things upon me.
anyway I will take lots of photos and hopefully tomorrow be better!
When the thunder rumbles, I can hear your sweet voice tell me you love me again. When the lighting strikes, I can see your anger in your eyes that you had to leave us. When the rain pours, I can feel your hug once more. That is the power of a memory.- CJ/// Someone once said, no boy you date will ever truly break your heart but there will be one man who can and that pain will never heal. I understand them now, my dad broke my heart 1/21/12...</3...and I honestly believe that nobody else could have went out so honorably and respectfully as he did. I'll see you on the other side.