Okay soo my friend and I went on this trip to cleveland and he brought along his friend kyle and his girlfriend Stefany well....we were gone 20 hours....with them and when it got daylight out and I saw what kyle looked like...my heart stopped....then it grew numb....and hurt....this guy looked like my ex dan's TWIN! It took everything I had to not cry the whole 3 hour drive up there. It hurt soooo much, it felt like my chest went numb then someone was slowly taking a knife and stabbing it, and felt like I could cry but wasnt sure if I was going to...weird feeling....it was kind of a first look glance that this is all reality and dan will find another girl....it hurt horribly and I will admit...I kept looking at this guy only because I got the theory I look at him, more I believe it is dan the more it hurts and I let all the hurt out and it goes away. Well we were at this boring car thing for 8 hours omg it was so boring and I kept looking at him, I let my heart hurt thinking of dan becuase this kid looked EXACTALLY like dan....same height, weight, age, hair, face features, color eyes, nose shape, smile, butt, walk, shyness, personaility, even SAME TOWN...liked same things...only differance was this kid had a southern accent and was a little more talkative then Dan ever was....and talked much better. Anyway, after about 16 hours....the pain got less and less and less and less... to the point I could look at this kid and not think Dan and I could think of him as kurts friend...it hurt and I wanted to cry but I didnt...its gonna take a lil more to get over dan but im getting there. Sure I was bored to death at the race track and I wanted to just go home and I got sunburned bad but in the end I kind of think it was meant to be....God sent me on that path so I could meet this guy and help me get over him by sending me a twin....and I am glad I went.... CREEPY huh?!!?!?!
So that is the story now here is my idea....I think maybe my issue of not being able to move on from dan is that I am always thinking of him because im surrounded my memories....so I thought of a way I could do something for Dan that would make me feel good but help me move on....go through and DO all of the things that Dan said I never could do...even though he will never know I did them it will be something to occupy me away from him, goal to get done and to prove him wrong in my heart and slowly let go of that....So he said I never could run a mile...I did....said I never could do 60 sit ups without taking a break...I just did that one.... another one was learn Jappenese, learn Karate, get into sports and become athletic, understand math, live on my own away from mommy. Well I admit the other ones will take time but I plan on working towards all of them. I already learned one Jappenese word...Kumitae which means karate...lol!
Well atleast that is my theory....I tried just letting go, my mom forced me to burn 1 photo and that didnt work made me resent that ... so I hoep this works....what do you guys think? You have any other suggestions to help me?
When the thunder rumbles, I can hear your sweet voice tell me you love me again. When the lighting strikes, I can see your anger in your eyes that you had to leave us. When the rain pours, I can feel your hug once more. That is the power of a memory.- CJ/// Someone once said, no boy you date will ever truly break your heart but there will be one man who can and that pain will never heal. I understand them now, my dad broke my heart 1/21/12...</3...and I honestly believe that nobody else could have went out so honorably and respectfully as he did. I'll see you on the other side.